01 April 2016

Croydon Canal to be Reinstated after 200 years

Published on 1st April 2016 as a joke:

The Forest Hill Society have been working hard since last April on a great scheme to replace the existing railway line with the old canal as a step towards a speedier and more reliable commuter service.

The basic plan will be to remove the slow and rather cumbersome railway line and reinstate a large section of the Croydon Canal. We know there is a lot of support in the local community for the environmental and health benefits of the canal as a primary means for transportation in South East London.

Some of the details still need to be worked out in conjunction with TfL but along both sides of canal would be cycle paths allowing commuters to cycle to central London without the hassle of traffic or pollution.
One of the early criticism of this scheme was the lack of train services, but commuters will have frequent solar-powered paddle-steamers that will speed them through the South London suburbs at speeds substantially faster than existing train services. To help with speed on these canal services, water flow would be reversed each day to help with the flow of services.

The canal will run from Crystal Palace through to Highbury & Islington and will be the first canal in the world to go through tunnels under a river. Further investigations are required to test the viability for an 'aquavator' which would allow for the canal services to transfer directly to the Thames, for interchange to surface waterways.
The official launch of the first canal transport on the railway line will take place on the 1st April 2017, and during the first two years canal boats and trains will run alongside each other. This may result in flooding of passenger compartments but this will provide passengers with fish pedicures and the opportunity to catch their own dinner on the journey home from work.

* Press release issued by the Forest Hill Society on 1st April 2016. Some of the details in this article may not be valid on any other day of the year.


Anonymous said...

Have a good day

Anonymous said...

What will happen when we have the wrong type of rain, will all the boats go slow.

Unknown said...

Very good!

Shwetablog said...